I try to go blogging every day.
Oh. Wait. I think that’s jogging. Not that I do that either. At my age it’s all I can do to jog across a four-lane roadway before the pedestrian signal changes to red and I get squashed by a car… NYC drivers. What the hell do they care?
I try to walk everyday but frequently my walks end up someplace where there is food so that sort of defeats the purpose of the walk. What I should do is walk the mile to my gym where I will get on a treadmill and walk some more. The problem is, it’s uphill…. both ways.
Oh, you don’t believe that’s possible. Haven’t you ever listened to your grandparents' stories…’in my day I walked five miles to school in two feet of snow and it was …. wait for it….uphill both ways’. Unless your granny is 88 or lived across the street from the school she rode the bus.
Grandparents lie.
According to them, they were perfect. They never broke a rule, always said please and thank you, always belted their pants at the waist, not around their thighs leaving their fug-ugly underwear hanging out. If you're gullible enough believe that I’d be happy to sell the Brooklyn bridge. Remember, this was the generation that burned their bras, tripped out and believed in free love.
Grandparents lie. They will sugar coat it and say that it wasn't them, it was all those other kids.
If you want the truth, you need to buy my book, The Candy Capers. Because I don’t sugar coat anything. And that’s the truth.
The Candy Capers. Due out May 29, 2022